Worship As Ministry And Mission

See I have refined you, but not like silver. I have tested you in the fire
of adversity. Isaiah 48.10

Over the last couple of days, my spirit has been downcast, to put it mildly. Despair was setting in. So last night, as I was falling to sleep, I prayed asking God to give me some sense of direction, a word, something. Or just put an end to this and let me go on my way. It may not be very faithful, but it was how I felt. And in the end, God knows my heart.

So this morning, I share this with my wife during breakfast. She said I sounded like Job. Gee, thanks. And then I reach for our family devotion, because for a change we left the TV off and were all gathered at the breakfast table together. And this was the passage from Isaiah, talking about testing. Needless to say hit a little too close to home. And I wasn't sure how to react. Should I be grateful for this time of testing. "Thanks God for leading me into this wasteland period of my life?" Again, not a lot of faith in that kind of thinking. And then my wife said, "Would you rather God be in this, or not? Would you rather our circumstances not be of God?" This gave me a moments pause. Do we love God only when things go well? Do I trust only the good from God and not the bad. As the song says,

"Blessed be the name of the Lord/ He gives and takes away/ My heart will choose
to say/ Blessed be your name"

Wow. Think about that for a moment. God gives and takes away. Not a lot of prosperity gospel to be found in that. And yet do you know where this phrase comes from. It's biblical. Check out Job 1.21:

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord."

And so, God's response to my cry for help at midnight, is to speak a word. This is a time of refining. But God's refining comes through the testing of adversity. Not pleasant. Not in the least. But I trust in God with all my heart. And my prayer each night is for more of Him. It's the only way I know to make it through. I may not walk each day in faithfulness, but as a friend reminded me today, we are holy and righteous not because of our faithfulness, not because of our self-imputed holiness. We are holy and righteous by of the blood of Christ Jesus. The very same one who is called Faithful and True. And if He is willing to die that I might have life, I'm willing to trust another day that He has my best interest at heart. He created me, He sustains me, and He alone knows what is best for me. In this season of testing, my faithfulness is to trust in what I cannot see. My faithfulness is to not listen to the bad advice of the world. Even Job's well intended friends were off base. It is the lone voice of the Shepherd I want to hear calling my name.

And if all this were not enough, how is this for divine love. The Lord has opened up two opportunities in January for me to teach workshops in two local churches on prayer. Saturday will be a workshop on prayer entitled "Intimacy With God Through Enjoyable Prayer." And then I will preach Sunday in worship. He opened up those opportunities today. Even in a season of refining, He is a good, good Father.

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

I don't normally go around thinking of myself as a king. Call it false humility. If you saw my bank balance, you'd be more inclined to say a pauper. But this morning's reading from Proverbs gave me a moments pause.

It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out. Prov 25.2

Why is it the glory of God to conceal things? Divine hide and seek? Does God have a mischievous side? What is it about the nature of God that it is His glory to conceal things?

I'm not sure. But I know that I enjoy searching things out. I enjoy a good mystery. And through school I've always found research to be something I'm good at and enjoy. I've always been a bit bookish like that.

I think it was under King Josiah's reign in OT Israel that the scribes found an old copy of the law, the book of Deuteronomy. And after dusting it off, Josiah had it read. And after hearing it read, the people realized how far from God they had wandered in their living. And so, Josiah glorified God by calling the people back to repentance, to right worship, to honor and glorify God. And the people were blessed.

In my daily life, I fall short of my intended destiny as a child of God. Deep within me and each of us lies a destiny far greater than we could ever imagine. Concealed within me is the heart of a king that yearns to discover the deep things of God. Like a present waiting to be unwrapped, like a diamond waiting to be unearthed is the glory of the nature of God within our very being. This is our intended glory.

I've always been moved by Michangleo's response when questioned about his sculpting. When asked about his sculpture The Angel, he simply said, "I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."

God is a good, good Father. Knowing this, I can trust that His motives for concealing are benevolent, for our good. And so today, I want to dig a little deeper, to discover a little more about God, and about myself along the way.

James is our two year old and he is all boy. He is rough and affectionate, he can be sweet and sour all in the same moment. And he takes chances his older sister never thought about. While we were still in Kansas City, James fell down a set of 8 or 9 stairs that ended on a marble landing. We were scared to death. He was fine. A couple of bruises, that was all. It took a few years off of us however.

Then we move to NC and James takes another trip down a flight of 15 or 16 stairs ending on a wooden floor landing. I say with a wink and a nod that my son is perfecting the tuck and roll as he tumbles down the stairs. Again he walks away with a bump and a bruise.

Well last night, he took a dive out of his crib. Headfirst. Only this time he hits the corner of the chest with the bridge of his nose. I had just said prayers with them, [Elizabeth and James are sharing a room right now] sang them a lullaby and closed the door. Not two minutes later there is a thud and a scream and Elizabeth's voice calling out, "Mom! Dad! James fell out of the crib!"

Fell out of the crib! You don't just fall out of the crib! As a two year old, you have to work pretty hard to fall out of a crib!

We rush into the room and James is lying on the floor in a heap, has cut his nose and is bleeding. Not gushing, more oozing. We apply ice and begin serious discussion about getting rid of the crib. The crib has served well as a holding pen. We put him in the crib and knew where he was. Our concern was that he was not ready for a big boy bed. Truth be told, we are the one's not ready for James to have a big boy bed. The convenience of the crib has been nice. Our concern now is, if we take away the crib, he can roam, in a room, with his unsuspecting sister right next to him. Hmmm... But on the other hand, can we afford not to get rid of the crib. Maybe it is time.

We have yet to go to the Emergency Room with either child. We assume at some point, James will be the first. Just not today, please.

Another testimony to just how awesome our God is!

Okay, so living on a missionary budget, which is an oxymoron, we never know how to think about expenses like tires for our Explorer. We bought our Explorer with 45,000 miles and have had the same set of tires since we bought it. We now have 118,000 miles. For the last month and a half we have had a slow to moderate leak in the left rear tire which had us going to fill it up with air before we drove anywhere! Needless to say we needed new tires. This has been on our radar, but we never had the money.

Last Thursday, we were paying bills. Jennifer looked at me, and after paying the tithe, we had just enough to pay the bills. The choice always of course, is whether to pay the tithe or set it aside for later. I say it is a choice, because it is a choice to be obedient. I looked at Jennifer and said, "I guess we don't need new tires today."

In the mail that day came a letter. Inside was a note from a woman who told us she had been visiting a church I had spoken at a month ago. She was moved by our testimony and wanted to bless us with a gift. The gift was $600. As we read the note and looked at the amount of the check, I looked at Jennifer and with a grateful smile said, "I guess God wants us to have new tires after all."

Could we have used the money for something else? Sure. But after living seven months at the hand of God, relying on daily bread, you begin to recognize the beauty of God's good and timely gifts. There was no doubt for either of us that we had just received a set of new tires in the mail.