Worship As Ministry And Mission

My reading list on the right side of this blog is what I am currently reading. A book that I did not include, but have just now finished is Answering God by Eugene Peterson (translator of The Message). If you want an introduction to reading the Psalms, this is a great one. His writing consistently leads me back to scripture, prayer and my own heart. He is a wonderful pastor, even through his writing.

I attended the monthly meeting of the Writer's Group today at Church of the Resurrection. These women have nurtured and empowered me through their writing for the past few months I have attended. I don't know how other writer's groups are but this is a safe place that encourages writing. Sharing is definitely optional. They are funny and spiritual and just a joy to be around. Quickly, I have come to love them and would recommend anyone interested in writing at all levels, from personal journaling (me!) to published authors to anyone in between, finding a group of writers to join.

So, one of the treasures from this morning's meeting was, the leader, Carol's advice for writer's block. "Rule number one," she said, "and you're not going to like this, but: Put your seat in the seat and just do it. Rule number two is: Tolerate chaos. Be willing to be uncomfortable."

Thank you Carol, and thank you God for using Carol to speak to my heart today.

A verse for today, which also served as a prompt for the group this morning is Matthew 6:26-27: "Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?" The prompt given was: "What are you worrying about? What is worrying you about your writing? What do you want to write about?"

You too can be a writer. You can try it: for the next 10 minutes grab paper and a pen and keep the pen moving across the page. You can stray or stick to the topic. Remember the rules about keeping your seat in the seat and tolerating chaos and go where the Spirit leads.

Blessings!

Borrowing from CS Lewis' title, The Weight of Glory, I thought this was an appropriate subject title. Anyone who has lived a life of faith in God knows the pressure from this weight. Throughout scripture, we are told to wait upon God. "Trust in Him, and He will act...wait patiently for Him" [Psalm 37.5&7]

Saul waited seven days for Samuel. [1 Samuel 13] When Samuel didn't show, Saul took matters into his own hands, and it cost him his kingdom. And what were the haunting words of Samuel to Saul,

"But now your kingdom shall not endure The LORD has sought out for Himself a man after His own heart, and the LORD has appointed him as ruler over His people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you." [1 Samuel 13.14]

The Lord is searching for people after His own heart. David was a man after God's own heart. Jesus shows us the very heart of God. And what were Jesus' parting words to the disciples. Wait. "Wait in the city of Jerusalem until you are clothed with power from on high." [Luke 24.49]

What is it with God and waiting? Waiting is unbearable. Most of the advice the world gives is to "take matters into your own hands." "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps" theology. "God helps those who help themselves," IS NOT IN THE BIBLE. I may be mistaken, but I believe that the last quote was from Benjamin Franklin.

A quick word search of 'wait' on www.biblegateway.com reveals a gold mine of what God intends for those who love Him. We are called to wait on God. Apart from God we have no good thing. So why wouldn't we wait on God?

Because the weight of waiting is heavy. Like the Hebrews, who stood by the Red Sea, faced by water in front of them, mountains on either side, and the approaching army of Pharoah behind them. In their darkest moment where was the God who promised to deliver them? And as they had lost all hope, knowing there was nothing they could do but surrender, God breaks in. And not only does God deliver them, He destroys the enemy.

I have been told that circumstances in our lives are meant to reveal what is truly in our hearts. What I find in my heart when difficult circumstanes is not pretty. Trust me. And yet the challenge is not to hide the ugliness, but to offer it to God. If we acknowledge to God the ugliness of our heart, His nature is to take a heart of stone and give us back a heart of flesh. [Ezekiel 36.26]

Pressure builds character. [Romans 5.3-5] And so the weight or pressure that comes with waiting upon God, for whatever it is that we seek, is in the end meant for our own good. I am convinced that the God who creates us knows our hearts better than we do. And this same God is at work wooing us and drawing us to Him in love. Waiting is meant for us to fall in love with the One who first loved us.

Waiting is not easy. I would not hazard to call it fun. And yet as I walk out this journey of faith, I suspect that as my trust in God grows, my faith will grow into an assurance that our God is a God of promises, and promise keeping.

Great is Thy Faithfulness
I love your mercy
It's new every morning

I walk into the prayer room this morning at 8.39am, and this is being sung from the platform. God wants me to know that His faithfulness is not just for a day. Not just yesterday. But today. It is new every morning. Thank you seems far too inadquate for that kind of love.

We attended worship this morning at The United Methodist Church of the Resurrection. And I had intended for James to go to the nursery during worship. He usually does pretty well in worship up until Pastor Adam starts preaching. When I can no longer contain him [meaning I've run out of goldfish] James and I end up in the Atrium, COR's version of a narthex. Well, apparently COR closes down its KidsCor on Memorial weekend, and they call it a family worship weekend. Needless to say I was not excited. I knew where this was going. Or so I thought.

Typically the highlights of worship for James are the baptisms and singing. He delights in the baptisms in watching a baby be baptized. As a hush falls across the sanctuary, James muffles out a "baby" pointing to the family and the baby by the baptismal font.

The other highlight for both of us is the singing. At the service we attend, the music is traditional, so we sing hymns. I prefer more contemporary worship music, but as this story will reflect, its not always about my preferences. When we are invited to stand, James shoves away whatever has been occupying him, pens and paper, goldfish, etc. and reaches up for me to hold him. This is what I missed as a pastor; worshipping with my family. For me there is nothing better than to hold my son or daughter, and sing or pray together.

This mornings hymns were two of my favorites, as hymns go. Praise to the Lord the Almighty and Great is Thy Faithfulness. It was the second hymn that caught me unaware, part of the refrain actually.

All I have needed
thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness
Lord unto me.

How many times before have I blythly sung those words without any true thought or reflection. And yet now as a missionary family, dependant upon God for literally everything, I wept. We have been so burdened for the last month wondering how we are going to pay for this and that. We are living bill to bill. The words of this great hymn of faith have never meant more to me than they do now. And so here I am, holding my beautiful 2 year old son, standing beside my wonderful wife and sweet 4 year old daughter, worshipping through tears. I once thought laughter through tears was the best emotion. Now I know it is second to worshiping through tears.

The gratitude that filled my heart was overwhelming. God has truly provided for us in miraculuous ways over the last five months. God is faithful. And as the tears streamed down my face, my heart was moved, even in a traditional worship service. James looked at me quizzically as if to ask, "Why are you crying?" I just hugged him tight, which led to him nuzzling his nose to mine. And then he kissed me. It was as though God wanted me to know how much he loved me. And in that moment I was overwhelmed. As much as I love my own son, God loves him more. And more than that, God loves me with that same boundless love. God's faithfulness is great because it is rooted and grounded in love. Not because God has to, but because God wants to. And that makes all the difference. That kind of love is worth giving your life to.

I've had fun trying to learn to customize our blog. I'm probably doing it the hard way, but I'm slowly learning CSS, I think. I'm trying to customize the sidebar so that we can have different meaningful lists, like my reading list, that look attractive.

Well... it's a work in progress.

So is the discipline of actually posting on a somewhat regular basis. The first day we put up this blog, we had several posts because we had been writing and thinking about these things for some time, waiting to burst onto a blog. We recognize that in many ways, this blog will be mainly a place to record our journey for our family. But we also hope that this will become a place for our supporters to keep in touch with us and for others to be encouraged by our authentic sharing of living a life of faith counter to what the world offers. May God make it so.

A verse for today: If I partake with thankfulness, why should I be denounced because of that for which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God. I Corinthians 10:30-31.

We are wrestling with the question of staying in KC for another several months or going back to NC. After Mark was gone for four days (literally a thousand miles away), I started really feeling homesick, realizing how far we really were from everyone we know. Several people from the Intro program are going back to their hometowns. I just wasn't sure if there was enough here to stay for.

Mark and I both get the sense in our hearts that it would be better to stay and to wait. But my question still is, what is it that we are waiting for? I don't know the answer, except to say we are waiting on God. It's not very satisfying right now...

Mark is going to the prayer room like it's a full-time job. I have not seen him have this much energy and enthusiasm for work ever, so that's a reason to stay. But not having a "stockpile" of money from which to be confident that we can pay our bills is really annoying.

I guess when God continues to provide, it will be a great witness. Yeah. Somehow that has never excited me. To go through the fire and come out unharmed. Not my idea of fun. And yet we find joy here... another reason to stay.

Let me say that be before we came to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, [IHOP-KC] "prophesy" and the ministry of the "prophetic" was foreign to me, and somehting I pretty much dismissed as irrelevant to me and my life of faith, not to mention my ministry as a pastor. I had no grid or paradigm for understanding prophesy other than it was in the Bible.

Psalm 139 is one of my favorite Psalms. Verses 17 and 18 speak of God's thoughts toward us. Think about that for a minute. The God of the universe, the God who created you and me, not only created us, but thinks about us. Psalm 139.17-18 says " How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! I try to count them- they are more than the sand;" God not only thinks about us, but thinks about us a lot! Scripture tells us that they are thoughts of mercy, and blessing.

My understanding of prophesy is opening ourselves to receive from God some of those many thoughts. Paul says in Romans 12.10 that some have been given the gift of prophecy. In short, some people have the spiritual gift of sharing God's thoughts toward us with us.

I confess I have been a skeptic in the past of prophetic ministries. Most of what I thought I knew was really just negative impressions from what I had seen on TV. After having lived in and experienced a prophetic community for nearly five months, I still have questions. But I now recognize and appreciate the fact that God is very much alive and the gifts of the Holy Spirit I once read about in scripture have now become alive and a part of my daily life.

What little I know about "the prophetic" is that it is like a two-way conversation. God speaks to us, through scripture, our own hearts and minds, and the words of others, and we speak God's words back to him. There is a quote from Revelation 9:10 that helps us understand it: "the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." I'm still sitting with that one. What I've come up with is that in order to have the spirit of prophecy, one must listen to the "testimony of Jesus" or God speaking to us. Care to add to this, Mark?

Welcome to our family blog. We invite you to journey with us as we explore life together as an intercessory missionary family. We hope this will serve as a source of encouragement, community, and at times humor. This will be a work in progress, as we get our blog on.
Blessings upon you!

After much humming and hawing, Mark and I are starting our blog. This will probably undergo several transformations before we get it the way we want it. I'm not sure that sharing a blog is the best idea. However, Mark and I see that we work as a team, a unit even. So even though it may be cumbersome in the world of blogging, it may fit us best. Oh well... We'll give more introductions later, like after I tell Mark that I've started our own blog...